What Person Adds Best In Hot Weather? A Summer.

Bill Clinton And Al Gore Go Into A Local Diner For Lunch. As They Read The Menu The Waitress Comes Over And Askes Clinton, "Are You Ready To Order? "Clinton Replies, "Yes, Id Like A Quickie. ""A Quickie? !? " The Waitress Replies. "Sir, Given The Currentsituation Of Your Personal Life I Dont Think That Is A Good Idea. Ill Come Back When You Are Ready To Order From The Menu. "She Walks Away. Gore Leans Over To Clinton And Says, "Its Pronounced Quiche. "

The Cowboy Lay Sprawled Across Three Entire Seats In The Posh Amarillo Theatre. When The Usher Came By And Noticed This He Whispered To The Cowboy, "Sorry, Sir, But Youre Only Allowed One Seat. " The Cowboy Groaned But Didnt Budge. The Usher Became More Impatient. "Sir, If You Dont Get Up From There, Im Going To Have To Call The Manager. The Cowboy Just Groaned. The Usher Marched Briskly Back Up The Aisle. In A Moment He Returned With The Manager. Together The Two Of Them Tried Repeatedly To Move The Cowboy, But With No Success. Finally, They Summoned The Police. The Cop Surveyed The Situation Briefly Then Asked, "All Right Buddy, Whats Youre Name? " "Sam, " The Cowboy Moaned. "Where Ya From, Sam? " With Pain In His Voice Sam Replied. . . . "The Balcony. "

What Helps Keep Your Teeth Together? Toothpaste.

Kelly Was Standing In Front Of Cohans Tavern When He Saw A Driverless Car Rolling Slowly Down The Street. He Ran To The Car, Jumped In, And Pulled On The Emergency Brake With A Jerk. Kelly Got Out And Very Proudly Said To The Man Approaching Him, "I Stopped It!" "I Know, You Idiot!" Said The Man. "I Was Pushing It!"