Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Two Men Who Are Out Walking Their Dogs Meet On A Street Corner. One Says To The Other, "Boy It Sure Is Hot Today. Id Really Like To Go Into The Bar And Get A Beer, But The Sign On The Front Door Says, "No Pets Allowed, " And I Cant Leave Fido Alone On The Street. " The Other Man Replies, "No Problem, Just Stand By The Door And Watch Me, And Youll Be Having That Beer Real Soon!" The Second Man Reaches Into His Pocket And Puts On A Pair Of Dark Sunglasses, And Then Walks Into The Bar. The Bartender Looks Up And Says, "Hey Buddy, You Cant Bring That Dog In Here!" The Man Says, "But Im Blind, And This Is My Seeing-Eye Dog!" The Bartender Says, "Oh, Okay Then. " The Man Drinks His Beer And Leaves. The First Man Then Puts On Dark Sunglasses And Goes Into The Bar. The Bartender Looks Up And Says, "Hey Buddy, You Cant Bring That Dog In Here!" The Man Says, "But Im Blind, And This Is My Seeing-Eye Dog!" The Bartender Says, "Oh Really? Ive Never Heard Of A Chihuahua Seeing-Eye Dog!" The Man, Thinking Quickly, Blurts Out, "Oh, Man! You Mean They Gave Me A Chihuahua? "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Two Guys Were In A Bar, And They Were Both Watching The Television When The News Came On. It Showed A Guy On A Bridge Who Was About To Jump, Obviously Suicidal. "Ill Bet You $10 Hell Jump, " Said The First Guy. "Bet You $10 He Wont, " Said The Second Guy. Then, The Guy On The Television Closed His Eyes And Threw Himself Off The Bridge. The Second Guy Hands The First Guy The Money. "I Cant Take Your Money, " Said The First Guy. "I Cheated You. The Same Story Was On The Five Oclock News. " "No, No. Take It, " Said The Second Guy. "I Saw The Five Oclock News Too. I Just Didnt Think The Guy Was Dumb Enough To Jump Again!"

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar And Sit Down At A Table. The Waitress Comes Over And Asks The First Vampire What He Would Like. The First Vampire Responds, "I Vould Like Some Blood. "The Waitress Turns To The Second Vampire And Asks What He Would Like. The Vampire Responds, "I Vould Like Some Blood. "The Waitress Turns To The Third Vampire And Asks What He Would Like. The Vampire Responds, "I Vould Like Some Plasma. "The Waitress Looks Up And Says, "Let Me See If I Have This Order Correct. You Want Two Bloods And A Blood Light? "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

There Were These Three Brothers That Were Very Close To Each Other. The Brothers Always Went To A Local Bar On Every Friday At 5:30 On The Dot. When The Brothers Got Married They All Got Married To Their Wifes To Be On The Same Day And At The Same Place. When The Brothers Moved Away From Each Other To Go On With Their Lives With Their New Wife, They All Promised Each Other That They Would Still Go To The Bar Every Friday At 5:30 And Drink For Each Other. On The First Friday That The Brothers Were Separated, The First Brother Went To A Local Bar And Ordered Three Drinks. He Took One Sip From The First Glass The Took One Sip From The Second Glass Then From The Third. He Did This Until All The Beer Was Gone, Then He Paid The Bartender And Went Home. This Kept Up For About Three Week Before The Bartender Finally Asked Why He Did That. The Guy Explained About The Promise Th At He Had With His Brothers. The Bartender Said That He Thought That Was A Very Good Promise To Keep With Each Other. One Day The Same Guy Came In And Asked For Only Two Glasses Of Beer. The Bartender Thinking Something Awful Has Happened, Said "I Am Awfully Sorry About Your Brother. " The Guy Not Knowing Anything About What The Bartender Was Talking About Said "What Happened To Him? " The Bartender Said That When He Only Ordered Two Drinks Instead Of Three He Thought That Something Awful Had Happened. The Brother Then Said "No, Nothing Happened To My Brother, I Just Decided To Give Up Alcohol. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

There Was This Little Guy Sitting Inside A Bar, Just Looking At His Drink. After He Didnt Move For A Half-An-Hour, This Big Trouble-Making Truck Driver Stepped Up Right Next To Him, Took The Drink From The Guy, And Just Drank It All Down. The Poor Man Started Crying. The Truck Driver Turned And Said: "Come On Man, I Was Just Joking. Here, Ill Buy You Another Drink. I Just Cant Stand To See A Man Crying. " "No, Its Not That. Today Is The Worst Day Of My Life. First, I Overslept And Was Late For An Important Meeting. My Boss Became Outraged And Then Fired Me. "When I Left The Building To My Car, I Found Out That It Was Stolen. The Police Said They Could Do Nothing. I Then Got A Cab To Return Home, And After I Paid The Cab Driver And The Cab Had Gone, I Found That I Left My Whole Wallet In The Cab. "I Got Home Only To Find My Wife Was In Bed With The Gardener. I Left Home Depressed And Came To This Bar. And Now, When I Was Thinking About Putting An End To My Life, You Show Up And Drink My Poison. . . "