Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Recently Scientists Revealed That Beer Contains Small Traces Of Female Hormones. To Prove Their Theory, The Scientists Fed 100 Men Twelve Bottles Of Beer Each. The Scientists Observed That 100% Of The Male Test Group Gained Weight, Talked Excessively Without Making Sense, Became Emotional, And Couldnt Drive. No Further Testing Is Planned.

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

One Night, This Guy Come Into A Bar And Asks The Bartender For A Drink. Then He Asks For Another. After A Couple More Drinks, The Bartender Gets Worried. "Whats The Matter? " The Bartender Asks. "My Wife And I Got Into A Fight, " Explained The Guy "And Now She Isnt Talking To Me For A Whole 31 Days. " The Bartender Thought About This For A While. "But, Isnt It A Good Thing That She Isnt Talking To You? " Asked The Bartender. "Yeah, Except Today Is The Last Night. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

One Day An Englishman, An American, And A Canadian Walked Into A Pub Together. The Proceeded To Each Buy A Pint Of Molson Canadian. Just As They Were About To Enjoy Their Beverage Three Flies Landed In Each Of Their Pints. The Englishman Pushed His Beer Away From Him In Disgust. The American Fished The Offending Fly Out Of His Beer And Continued Drinking It As If Nothing Had Happened. The Canadian Picked The Fly Out Of His Drink And Started Shaking It Over The Pint, Yelling. . . "Spit It Out, Spit It Out You Bastard!!!"

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

One Day A Drunk Walked Into A Bar And Ordered A Gin And Tonic. He Drank Half Of It And Poured The Rest On The Bartender. The Bartender Got Angry, Grabbed The Drunk By The Collar, Pulled Him Close To His Face, And Asked, "Why Did You Do That? " The Drunk Said Very Apologetically, "I Am So Very Sorry Sir. Please Forgive Me. I Cant Help It. Its An Illness I Cant Get Rid Of. I Am So Ashamed Of It. How Can I Make It Up To You? " The Bartender Answered, "Havent You Seen Anyone About This Problem? " The Drunk Replied, "I Never Thought Of That. Maybe I Will. " The Bartender Said, "Dont Come Back Until You Do Get Help, " And The Drunk Left. About Three Months Later The Drunk Came Back To The Same Bar, Ordered Another Gin And Tonic, Drank Half Of It, And Poured The Rest Of It On The Bartender. The Bartender Shouted, "I Thought I Told You Not To Come Back Until You Got Help!" The Drunk Replied, "I Did. Now I Dont Feel Ashamed. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Old Man Omalley Had Worked Down At The Brewery For Years, But One Day He Just Wasnt Paying Attention And He Tripped On The Walkway And Fell Over Into The Beer Vat And Drowned. The Foreman Thought It Should Be His Job To Inform The Widow Omalley Of Her Old Mans Death. He Showed Up At The Front Door And Rang The Bell. When She Came To The Door, He Said, "Im Sorry To Tell You, But Your Poor Husband Passed Away At Work Today When He Fell Into The Vat And Drowned. "She Wept And Covered Her Face With Her Apron And After A Time, Between Sobs, She Asked, "Tell Me, Did He Suffer? ""Knowing Brian Omalley As Well As I Did, I Dont Think So, " Said The Foreman, "He Got Out Three Times To Go To The Mens Room. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Mcpherson Walked Into A Bar And Ordered Martini After Martini, Each Time Removing The Olives And Placing Them In A Jar. When The Jar Was Filled With Olives And All The Drinks Consumed, The Irishman Started To Leave. "Scuse Me, " Said Another Bar Patron, Who Was Puzzled Over What Mcpherson Had Done. "What Was That All About? " "Nothing, " Said The Irishman, "My Wife Sent Me Out For A Jar Of Olives. "