Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Barty And Dunny Met In A Pub And Discussed The Illness Of A Friend Named Hogan. "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, Im Afraid Hes Goin To Die. " "Shure, An Why Would He Be Dyin? " Asked The Other. "Ah, Hes Gotten So Thin. Youre Thin Enough, And Im Thin -- But By My Soul, Micheal Hogan Is Thinner Than Both Of Us Put Together. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

At The End Of The Night A Man Leaves The Bar. Outside He Sees A Nun. He Walks Over To Her And Slaps Her In The Face. Then He Punches Her In The Stomach And Knocks Her Over. He Proceeds To Kick Her Several Times And When Hes Done He Bends Down To Her And Says, "Not So Tough Tonight, Are You Batman? "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

An Armless Man Walked Into A Bar Which Is Empty Except For The Bartender. He Ordered A Drink And When He Was Served, Asked The Bartender If He Would Get The Money From His Wallet In His Pocket, Since He Has No Arms. The Bartender Obliged Him. He Then Asked If The Bartender Would Tip The Glass To His Lips. The Bartender Did This Until The Man Finished His Drink. He Then Asked If The Bartender Would Get A Hanky From His Pocket And Wipe The Foam From His Lips. The Bartender Did It And Commented It Must Be Very Difficult Not To Have Arms And Have To Ask Someone To Do Nearly Everything For Him. The Man Said, "Yes, It Is A Bit Embarrassing At Times. By The Way, Where Is Your Restroom? " The Bartender Quickly Replies -, "The Closest One Is In The Gas Station Three Blocks Down The Street. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

An Angry Wife Was Complaining About Her Husband Spending So Much Time At The Pub, So One Night He Took Her Along. "Whatll Ya Have? " He Asked. "Oh, I Dont Know. The Same As You, I Suppose, " She Replied. So The Husband Ordered A Couple Of Jack Daniels And Threw His Down In One Gulp. His Wife Watched Him, Then Took A Sip From Her Glass And Immediately Spit It Out. "Yuck, Thats Nasty Poison!" She Spluttered. "I Dont Know How You Can Drink This Stuff!""Well, There You Go, " Cried The Husband. "And You Think Im Out Enjoying Myself Every Night!"

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

After The Great Britain Beer Festival, In London, All The Brewery Presidents Decided To Go Out For A Beer. The Guy From Corona Sits Down And Says, "Hey Senor, I Would Like The Worlds Best Beer, A Corona. " The Bartender Dusts Off A Bottle From The Shelf And Gives It To Him. The Guy From Budweiser Says, "Id Like The Best Beer In The World, Give Me The King Of Beers, A Budweiser. " The Bartender Gives Him One. The Guy From Coors Says, "Id Like The Only Beer Made With Rocky Mountain Spring Water, Give Me A Coors. " He Gets It. The Guy From Guinness Sits Down And Says, "Give Me A Coke. " The Bartender Is A Little Taken Aback, But Gives Him What He Ordered. The Other Brewery Presidents Look Over At Him And Ask "Why Arent You Drinking A Guinness? " And The Guinness President Replies, "Well, I Figured If You Guys Arent Drinking Beer, Neither Would I. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Texan Walks Into A Pub In Ireland And Clears His Voice To The Crowd Of Drinkers. He Says, "I Hear You Irish Are A Bunch Of Hard Drinkers. Ill Give $500 American Dollars To Anybody In Here Who Can Drink 10 Pints Of Guinness Back-To-Back. " The Room Is Quiet And No One Takes Up The Texans Offer. One Man Even Leaves. Thirty Minutes Later The Same Gentleman Who Left Shows Back Up And Taps The Texan On The Shoulder. "Is Your Bet Still Good? ", Asks The Irishman. The Texan Says Yes And Asks The Bartender To Line Up 10 Pints Of Guinness. Immediately The Irishman Tears Into All 10 Of The Pint Glasses Drinking Them All Back-To-Back. The Other Pub Patrons Cheer As The Texan Sits In Amazement. The Texan Gives The Irishman The $500 And Says, "If Ya Dont Mind Me Askin, Where Did You Go For That 30 Minutes You Were Gone? ". The Irishman Replies, "Oh. . . I Had To Go To The Pub Down The Street To See If I Could Do It First".