Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar On The Top Floor Of A Skyscraper. He Sits Down And Orders A Beer. After Taking A Drink He Sees The Guy Next To Him Go Over To The Window And Jump Out! "Holy Cow! Did You See That!? That Guy Just Jumped Out The Window!" The Bartender Does Nothing. So The Man Takes Another Sip. A Minute Later The Same Guy Walks In, Orders Another Drink, Chugs It, And Jumps Out The Window Again. "Jesus! He Just Jumped Again!" The Bartender Ignores The Man. So The Man Sits Puzzled. The Guy Comes Back Into The Bar, And Orders Another Drink. "How Did You Survive That Jump? ". . "I Ordered A Floatie Drink, If You Drink It In A Certain Amount Of Time, You Can Float. " So The Guy Quickly Orders A Floatie Drink. He Takes It From The Bartender, And Chugs It. He Then Jumps Out The Window And. . . Splat! Right On The Sidewalk! The Bartender Then Say S, "You Know, Superman. . . You Can Be A Real Jerk When Youre Drunk. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar And Says, "Bartender, Give Me Two Shots. " Bartender Says, "You Want Them Both Now Or One At A Time? " The Guy Says, " Oh, I Want Them Both Now. Ones For Me And Ones For This Little Guy Here, " And He Pulls A Tiny Three Inch Man Out Of His Pocket. The Bartender Asks "He Can Drink? " "Oh, Sure. He Can Drink. " So The Bartender Pours The Shots And Sure Enough, The Little Guy Drinks It All Up. "Thats Amazing" Says The Bartender. "What Else Can He Do, Can He Walk? " The Man Flicks A Quarter Down To The End Of The Bar And Says, "Hey, Jake. Go Get That. " The Little Guy Runs Down To The End Of The Bar And Picks Up The Quarter. Then He Runs Back Down And Gives It To The Man. The Bartender Is In Total Shock. "Thats Amazing" He Says, "What Else Can He Do? Does He Talk? " The Man Says "Sure He Talks, Hey, Jake, Tell Him About That Time W E Were In Africa And You Made Fun Of That Witch Doctors Powers!"

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Shot Then Looks Into His Pocket. He Does This Over And Over Again. Finally The Bartender Asks Why He Orders A Shot And After Drinking It He Looks Into His Pocket. The Man Responded " I Have A Picture Of My Wife In There And When She Starts To Look Good Then Ill Go Home. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Beer. He Takes His First Sip And Sets It Down. While He Is Looking Around The Bar, A Monkey Swings Down And Steals The Pint Of Beer From Him Before He Is Able To Stop The Monkey. The Man Asks The Barman Who Owns The Monkey. The Barman Replies The Piano Player. The Man Walks Over To The Piano Player And Says "Do You Know Your Monkey Stole My Beer. " The Pianist Replies "No, But If You Hum It, Ill Play It. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar And Has A Couple Of Beers. Once He Is Donem The Bartender Tells Him He Owes $9. 00. "But I Paid, Dont You Remember? " Says The Customer. "Okay, " Says The Bartender, "If You Said You Paid, You Did. " The Man Then Goes Outside And Tells The First Person He Sees That The Bartender Cant Keep Track Of Whether His Customers Have Paid. The Second Man Then Rushes In, Orders A Beer And Later Pulls The Same Stunt. The Barkeep Replies, "If You Say You Paid, Ill Take Your Word For It. " Soon The Customer Goes Into The Street, Sees An Old Friend, And Tells Him How To Get Free Drinks. The Man Hurries Into The Bar And Begins To Drink High-Balls When, Suddenly, The Bartender Leans Over Sand Says, "You Know, A Funny Thing Happened In Here Tonight. Two Men Were Drinking Beer, Neither Paid And Both Claimed That They Did. The Next Guy Who Tries That Is Going To Get Punched Right In The Nose. " "Dont Bother Me With Your Troubles, " The Final Patron Responds. "Just Give Me My Change And Ill Be On My Way. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks Into A Bar And Asks For Six Shots Of Vodka. The Bartender Says, "Six Shots? Whats Wrong? ""I Found Out My Older Brother Is Gay, " Replied The Man. The Next Night, He Walked Into The Bar Again And Asked For Six Shots Of Vodka. "What Now? " Asked The Bartender. "I Found Out My Younger Brother Is Gay, " Replied The Man. The Night After That, The Man Walked Into The Bar Again And Asked For Six Shots Of Vodka. "Geez, Does Anybody In Your Family Like Women? " Asked The Bartender. The Man Replied, "Yeah, My Wife Does. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Walks In To A Bar And Says To The Bartenter " Give Me Twenty Shots Of Your Best Singlemalt Scotch Quick!"] The Bartender Pours The Shots, And The Man Drinks Them As Fast As He Can. The Bartender Says " Wow. I Never Saw Anybady Drink That Fast. " The Man Says " Well You Would Drink As Fast As I Do If You Had What I Have. " The Bartender Says " Oh My God. What Is It. What Do You Have? " The Man Looks At Him And Says " Fifty Cents. "

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Stumbles Up To The Only Other Patron In A Bar And Asks If He Could Buy Him A Drink. Why, Of Course, Comes The Reply. The First Man Then Asks, Where Are You From? Im From Ireland, Replies The Second Man. The First Man Responds By Saying, You Dont Say. Im From Ireland Too. Lets Have Another Round To Ireland. Of Course, Replies The Second Man. Curious, The First Man Then Asks, Where In Ireland Are You From? Dublin, Comes The Reply. I Cant Believe It, Says The First Man, Im From Dublin Too. Lets Have Another Drink To Dublin. Of Course, Replies The Second Man. Curiosity Again Strikes And The First Man Asks, What School Did You Go To? St Marys, Replies The Second Man, I Graduated In 1962. This Is Unbelievable, The First Man Says. I Went To St Marys And I Graduated In 1962 Too. About That Time, One Of The Regulars Comes In And Sits Down At The Bar. Whats Been Going On? He Asks The Barman. Nothing Much, Replies The Barman. The Omalley Twins Are Drunk Again.

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man Is In A Bar Having A Drink. The Guy Next To Him Falls Off Of His Barstool. The Man Picks Up The Guy And Sits Him Back On The Barstool, And He Falls Off Again. This Time He Picks The Guy Up And Asks, Where Do You Live? Being A Kind Soul, The Man Takes The Guy To His Car, Puts Him In The Back Seat, And Drives Him Home. When They Get To The Guys House, The Man Helps The Guy Out Of The Car, But He Falls Down 3 Times Before Getting To The Front Door. The Man Rings The Doorbell And The Guys Wife Comes To The Door. The Man Says, Hello, Ive Brought Your Husband Home. The Wife Looks At The Man And Asks, Wheres His Wheel Chair?

Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun

A Man In A Bar Sees A Friend At A Table, Drinking By Himself. Approaching The Friend He Comments, "You Look Terrible. Whats The Problem? " "My Mother Died In June, " He Said, "And Left Me $10, 000. " "Gee, Thats Tough, " He Replied. "Then In July, " The Friend Continued, "My Father Died, Leaving Me $50, 000. " "Wow. Two Parents Gone In Two Months. No Wonder Youre Depressed. " "And Last Month My Aunt Died, And Left Me $15, 000. " "Three Close Family Members Lost In Three Months? How Sad. " "Then This Month, " Continued, The Friend, "Nothing!"