English Jokes

English Jokes Are Jokes In English Language. These Are Not Jokes In Urdu Written In English Script But These Are Jokes In English In All Sense. So Only People Who Can Read And Understand English Can Enjoy These English Jokes.

The Manager Of A Large City Zoo Was Draf

The Manager Of A Large City Zoo Was Drafting A Letter To Order A Pair Of Animals. He Sat At His Computer And Typed The Following Sentence: "I Would Like To Place An Order For Two Mongooses, To Be Delivered At Your Earliest Convenience. "He Stared At The Screen, Focusing On That Odd Word Mongooses. Then He Deleted The Word And Added Another, So That The Sentence Now Read: "I Would Like To Place An Order For Two Mongeese, To Be Delivered At Your Earliest Convenience. "Again He Stared At The Screen, This Time Focusing On The New Word, Which Seemed Just As Odd As The Original One. Finally, He Deleted The Whole Sentence And Started All Over. "Everyone Knows No Full-Stocked Zoo Should Be Without A Mongoose, " He Typed. "Please Send Us Two Of Them. "

The Crist Family Worked At A Zoo. Each Y

The Crist Family Worked At A Zoo. Each Year They Predicted The General Luck And Overall Mood Of The Year By Watching The The Gnu. If The Gnus Ears Were Forward, That Meant A Successful, Joyous Year Was Almost Certain To Happen. But If His Ears Were Laid Back Flat Against His Head, It Meant That An Unlucky Or Very Unhappy Year Was Sure To Come. One Year It Was Young Marys Turn To "Survey" The Animal And Come Up With The Prediction. It Was Her First Time Solo, And In Her Excitement, She Forgot To Take The Key To The Cage. She Was Late In Coming To Check On The Gnu. Well, She Saw The Wrong Ear Position And Predicted A Bad Year, When In Fact It Was Quite Good. To Explain The Error, The Local Newspaper Ran The Following Headline A Year Later: Mary Crist Misses An Happy Gnus Ear!

Starting His New Job At The Zoo, The Eag

Starting His New Job At The Zoo, The Eager Young Zoo Keeper Asked The Head Keeper What He Should Do For His First Task. "Go And Clean Out The Aquarium" He Was Told. Arriving At The Aquarium, He Discovered That All The Fish Were Dead. He Rushed Back To The Head Keeper And Asked What He Should Do. "Throw Them To The Lions" Said The Head Keeper, "The Lions Will Eat Anything". So The Young Keeper Returned To The Aquarium, Picked Up All The Dead Fish And Threw Them Into The Lions Cage. That Done, He Returned And Asked What He Should Do Now. He Was Instructed To Go And Clean Out The Ape House. Off He Went And Started Cleaning. He Was Shocked To Discover Dead Chimpanzees In The Cage, And Rushed Back For Instructions. "Dont Worry" Said The Head Keeper, "Just Throw Them To The Lions, The Lions Will Eat Anything". So The Young Man Returns To The Ape House And Throws The Dead Animals Into The Lions Cage. Returning Again For Instructions, He Is Told To Go Along And Help Clean Up The Insect House. Busy Cleaning Out One Off The Exotic Hives, He Notices That All The Bees Have Died. "I Know What To Do", He Thinks To Himself "Ill Throw Them All To The Lions, As The Lions Will Eat Anything", Whereupon He Brushes Them All Up And Throws Them Into The Lion Cage. The Next Day, The Zoo Obtains A New Lioness. The Lioness Is Walking Around The New Cage For The First Time, And Starts Asking The Other Lions What Things Are Like Here. "Hows The Accommodation? ", She Asks. "Fine" Comes The Reply From One Lion. "And Whats The Food Like? " She Asks. "Not Bad" Replies Another, "Yesterday, We Had Fish, Chimps And Mushy Bees".

Little Jordan Wanted To Go To The Zoo An

Little Jordan Wanted To Go To The Zoo And Pestered His Parents, Al And Elaine, For Days. Finally Elaine Talked Jordans Reluctant Father Into Taking Him. And So Jordan And Al Got Into The Car And Left. "So How Was It? " Elaine Asked When They Returned Home. "Great, " Little Jordan Replied. "Did You And Your Father Have A Good Time? " Asked Elaine. "Yeah, Daddy Especially Liked It, " Exclaimed Jordan, Excitedly, "Especially When One Of The Animals Came Racing Home At 30 To 1!"