Police Jokes

The Phone Rings At Fbi Headquarters. "He

The Phone Rings At Fbi Headquarters. "Hello? Im Calling To Report My Neighbor, Clifford. He Is Hiding Marijuana Inside His Firewood!""Thank You Very Much For The Call, Sir. "The Next Day, Fbi Agents Descend On The Neighbors House. They Search The Shed Where The Firewood Is Kept. Using Axes, They Bust Open Every Piece Of Wood, But Find No Marijuana. They Swear At The Neighbors And Leave. The Phone Rings At The Neighbors House. Hey, Clifford, Did The Fbi Come? ""Yep. ""Did They Chop Your Firewood? ""Yep. ""Great, Now Its Your Turn To Call. I Need My Garden Plowed. "

The Los Angeles Police Department (Lapd)

The Los Angeles Police Department (Lapd), The Fbi, And The Cia Are All Trying To Prove That They Are The Best At Apprehending Criminals. The President Decides To Give Them A Test. He Releases A Rabbit Into A Forest And Each Of Them Has To Catch It. The Cia Goes In. They Place Animal Informants Throughout The Forest. They Question All Plant And Mineral Witnesses. After Three Months Of Extensive Investigations They Conclude That Rabbits Do Not Exist. The Fbi Goes In. After Two Weeks With No Leads They Burn The Forest, Killing Everything In It, Including The Rabbit, And They Make No Apologies. The Rabbit Had It Coming. The Lapd Goes In. They Come Out Two Hours Later With A Badly Beaten Bear. The Bear Is Yelling: "Okay! Okay! Im A Rabbit! Im A Rabbit!"

The Local Sheriff Was Looking For A Depu

The Local Sheriff Was Looking For A Deputy, So Gomer - Who Was Not Exactly The Sharpest Nail In The Bucket Went In To Try Out For The Job. "Okay, " The Sheriff Drawled, "Gomer, What Is 1 And 1? ""11" He Replied. The Sheriff Thought To Himself, "Thats Not What I Meant, But Hes Right. ""What Two Days Of The Weekstart With The Letter T? ""Today And Tomorrow. "He Was Again Surprised That Gomer Supplied A Correct Answer That He Had Never Thought Of Himself. "Now Gomer, Listen Carefully: Who Killed Abraham Lincoln? "Gomer Looked A Little Surprised Himself, Then Thought Really Hard For A Minute And Finally Admitted, "I Dont Know. ""Well, Why Dont You Go Home And Work On That One For A While? "So, Gomer Wandered Over To The Pool Hall Where His Pals Were Waiting To Hear The Results Of The Interview. Gomer Was Exultant. "It Went Great! First Day On The Job And Im Already Working On A Murder Case!"